When Wendy came to me for coaching all aspects of her health were in a delicate state.
Doing the work of three people had become the norm for Wendy in 2018. If she didn’t, her team members would get fired. Shewould get fired…which, when explored, didn’t seem to have any big downside. Money was not a pressing issue. Neither were potential job prospects.
After our conversation, Wendy went back to work committed to taking short breaks during her lengthy workday to help mitigate the damage at the end of the day. The breaks didn’t happen. She could not walk away for even ten minutes.
The following day Wendy felt ill and wisely headed to her doctor. He put her on immediate medical leave. After some resistance she relented. She described this reckoning to be the second most difficult experience in her life.
And the sky is still firmly in place.
Like many executives I’ve coached, Wendy had let go of the things that buoyed her spirit. Her life had become all about work. Medical leave offered an opportunity to reconnect with what was important in her life (our second conversation).
Sometimes you have to jump out of the pressure cooker to see what’s going on inside of it.
Wendy was driven, at the peril of all else, to not disappoint others. When you have unmet needs, and most of us do, like: needing to please, accomplish, be seen, be liked, be needed, etc., it’s pretty difficult to express your personal core values until the need gets met. Therapy or coaching can be helpful.
Doing great work is admirable. Doing great work because you’re trying to fill a void leads to other voids. And that can lead to burn out. Working towards balance is always a good idea.
While Wendy recovers she is focusing on her family, her music, and for something a little different . . . her self. Brave move, Wendy.