Like any good wife who works from home, my husband’s imminent retirement was scary enough. The fact that he was laid off within days of giving notice of retirement was a little scarier yet.
I know you have fears of your own due to the current, global state of health. I could tell you more about changes happening here, but you don’t need to worry about us.
No, hubby hasn’t got his job back, or his ego back, or his income back. But he’s okay and so am I. Why? I’ve been reminded about what really matters to me. It’s crystal clear. With that, all the senseless fear and worry (it’s always senseless) slipped away. Some of it I’ve carried for years.
I hope shifts in thinking and feeling are happening for you too. If not, listen up.
How to crush your fear
1. Pay attention to what really matters. If you don’t already know what’s important, sometimes an unexpected event whacks you up upside the head and it becomes really obvious. To put more sophisticated language around this, what I’m talking about is personal core values. What has always mattered to you and probably always will?
2. Focus on the present moment. Fear comes from too much thinking about the future. We have never known the future, but we keep pretending that we do. It gives us an illusion of control. Yes, we need to look ahead in order to make plans. But if you’re feeling more fear than peace it’s a sign to dial back to the present moment. That’s the only moment in which we really have any say. The past is done. Forget about it. And the future never comes.
I am not minimizing what is going on in the world. Yes, it’s scary stuff that none of us have witnessed before, but the more we focus on it the scarier it becomes. What you put your attention on grows.
How to become present
• Check in with your surroundings using your senses. What do you see, hear, feel, taste or smell?
• Check in with your body. What do you feel?
• Check in with your breathing. You are breathing, aren’t you? Notice. Imagine breathing into any area of your body where you feel tension. Breathe more slowly, focusing on a complete exhalation. Breathing brings you back into your body where you can be present.
It’s possible to bring mindfulness/presence to everything you do, particularly the actions that are automatic, like: walking, talking, washing your hands, making coffee and eating, of course.
While there are currently additional challenges for all of us to contend with, try to notice what’s right in the world and what’s right under your roof. Hubby is currently doing most of the cooking and all of the shopping. He has painted the laundry room floor and is planning his next woodworking project. Having him kick around while I work is looking better all the time.
I’m looking forward to the future – with my feet firmly planted in the present. Peace.