The next best thing to being retired must be having a spouse that is. Lucky me. Not only does he cook and clean, he shops! Getting groceries is no longer a date night event, but a one-person job for the retired, with added incentive from Covid-19.
I applaud my husband for creating a lovely balance of chores, woodworking and athletic pursuits, while still having plenty of time for Netflix and the sports channels.
This allows me to put more energy into my work, working out, painting and still have time for Netflix. We’ve found our groove. I admit the groove kind of just happened organically through my husband’s retirement and his own initiative. Like I said, lucky me.
If you’re scrambling to find your household balance maybe some planning and negotiating are in order. Ideally, everyone experiences some of what they most value and also contributes.
Here are a few things to consider when shooting for win/win.
- What is the family’s first priority?
- What are the individual priorities?
- Consider matching roles to strengths. Who is better at doing what?
- What can you learn to do?
- Who is available when, and for what tasks, like picking up kids or walking the dog?
- What can you let go or diminish? Netflix? Perfection?
- What can you delegate to the kids, or to outside support?
- What can be simplified?
I’m no marriage counselor, but I can say this. Whether you’re in the work force, unemployed, happily retired or any combination thereof, are both parties happy with the distribution of down time and labour? If you or your partner is harboring resentment there is likely more convo and negotiation required.
My hubby is happy grocery shopping without the scrutiny of a wellness coach. And I’m happy to relinquish the shopping. I could continue to work for many years with support like this. Now if I could only get him interested in doing my marketing. . .